The Coulda Been, Woulda Been, Shoulda Been Blues
Now I can’t sing & I can’t dance, but,
I can put some words together and take a chance.
Cause, I ain’t young but I ain’t old,
And this here’s a story needs to be told.
See, I woke up this mornin’ and they was in my head,
And I jumped up and saw ‘em walkin’ ‘round my bed.
I knew today wasn’t my day ’cause no matter what happened, I was gonna lose,
Cause I got them low-down, no-good, dirty, slimy, rotten coulda been, woulda been, shoulda been blues.
Got up and didn’t wanna go to work today,
Cause they had me runnin’ in circles doin’ whatever they say.
So now I’m collectin’ the unemployment,
And lookin’ for a little enjoyment
Turn on the radio and hear ol’ blue eyes, you remember Frank,
Used to sing the song and take the money to the bank.
Well, he sings he’s got regrets but too few to mention,
And there’s a line that gets my full attention.
Cause I got more regrets than just a few,
Yeah man, that’s me and isn’t it you too?
Cause I got them low-down, no-good, dirty, rotten, scummy, vicious coulda been, woulda been, shoulda been blues. Yeah I got ‘em and can’t get rid a ‘em, no!
So I’m walkin’ down the street,
And who else do I meet?
But a friend from the past,
Who says, when did I see you last?
It was so long ago and wouldn’t you know,
He wants to tell me all the news,
About all the stuff I did lose.
Cause he’s the boss, he owns his own store,
And then he says wait a minute, there’s more, there’s more.
He did it all by himself, he’s a great success,
Makes my life look more’n’more, like one big ol’ mess
Dude tells me everything, all the news,
and of course he gives me them,
Low down, dirty, rotten, no-good, filthy, dastardly, coulda been, would been, shoulda been blues. Yeah, I got ‘em and I wanna get rid a ‘em.
Cause I coulda been a wealthy man,
If I’d just done that insurance scam
Coulda been an attorney,
But didn’t wanna take the journey
Coulda done post office work
But I didn’t wanna go berserk.
Coulda joined the circus, been a lion tamer,
If only I’d a been a lil’ insaner,
Coulda been a clown,
Travelin’ all over the world, from town to town
Then I start thinkin’ and my heart starts sinkin’,
Cause whenever I’m thinkin’ about what I coulda been,
All my hopes seem so slim that the light starts to dim.
Cause all it does is give me them: Low-down, dirty, rotten, senseless coulda been, woulda been, shoulda been blues, yeah I got ‘em again
They had me a fight and they had it scheduled for eight,
I got started but by the time I got started it was way too late,
And then at the end he hit me with a hard right,
And I began slowly to see the clearing light.
A man goes out to work
And soon starts feelin’ just like a jerk,
And when he goes and fails,
He ends up poundin’ nails or workin’ in sales.
And, oh, by the way, don’t let me forget to mention,
He ain’t exactly workin’ towards no old-age pension.
A lawyer, ain’t no way that coulda been me,
Cause, look-it here, he don’t even know how to talk for free.
Now I know it’s true but it still makes me so blue, I got them low-down, dirty, no-good, rotten, scummy, slimy coulda been, woulda been, shoulda been BLUES!
And the woman, she’s out workin’ on a college degree,
When the man says c’mon over here and be with me.
Then she don’t know where she’s at,
With a belly swollen all big & fat
Now she’s got two lil’ boys,
And can’t even afford to buy ‘em no toys.
Now the woman be all alone,
And so, she gotta pick up the phone.
She calls up & goes out to the job,
But before long she’s startin’ to sob.
Cause the boss tryin’ to get in her pants,
And ain’t no way she wanna go back to them dirty ol’ food-stamps.
Now she got them dirty, rotten, low-down, coulda been, woulda been, shoulda been blues, yeah she got ‘em, you know she do, how ‘bout you?
Now Some people tell me I ain’t happy ‘less I’m sad,
But all that does is make me kinda mad.
Cause in this life, there’s so much vengence & strife.
Turn on the tee-vee and what do you see?
Buncha stars drivin’ fancy cars, all that fame
And every last one of them is so damn lame.
You see all these people makin’ all this money,
And they actually supposed to be thinkin’ they funny?
Now this sad story’s about comin’ to an end,
And what I really need now is a friend,
Cause I can’t sing but I can rhyme, So sing it with me one last time.
Cause we got them low-down, slimy, filthy, dirty, no-good coulda been, woulda been, shoulda been BLUES!
Keith G. Laufenberg has been writing for over 30 years and has had over a hundred poems and short stories published. His work has appeared in such magazines and journals as: AIM Magazine;Amaterasu; aaduna; The Maryland Review; Spoiled Ink; Down in the Dirt; Pleaides; The Oracular Tree; Prole Magazine, Pulp Empire; NuVein;The Pink Chameleon; Mobius Magazine; The Washington Pastime; Rymfire Books; One Million Stories; Euonia Review;Short Story.Me; The Spillway Review; Author Trek; Struggle Magazine; NeonbeamMagazine; The Write Room; The Corner Club Press; Pot Luck Magazine; OMG Magazine; An Electric Tragedy; Write from Wrong Magazine; The Fine Line; Danse Macabre Magazine; The Whortleberry Press; The Ultimate Writer; Fringe Magazine; Northern Stars Magazine;The Writing Disorder; d.ustb.in; The Phoenix Magazine; The Legions of Light Magazine; KZine Magazine; The Earth Comes First; et al, and he has also had 2 novels published:“Miami Rock” and “Semper-Fi-Do-or-Die”, both in 2007 and he now has three other novels and five books of short stories on Amazon and B&N e-book stores and can also be assessed at his website: www.kglaufenberg.com